Monday, October 8, 2007

News of the Week, 08 October 2007

10 inches of rain in four hours can’t keep the News of the Week down! This week…a dying man wants to be cremated and made into fish bait for his pals…Shakespeare sponsors Ayn Rand…a classy Floridian kicked off airplane for “master baiter” fishing t-shirt…fishermen with rod envy discover that size does matter…it must be THE NEWS OF THE WEEK!

The British press reports on a terminally ill fisherman who wants to be cremated and have his ashes ground into chum for his fishing pals. Even Keith Richards thinks this is a bizarre idea.

According to The New York Times, New Yorkers apparently can fish. They sure as hell can't play baseball.

Trouble brewing in my neck of the woods as Newsweek reports on idiots with guns terrorizing tourists in Ely, Minnesota. Fortunately they were caught and now stand to spend 30 years rotting in prison.

ORCA's Phil White reports on the ebay auctions of the month while Ben Wright opines on spinning reels in the monthly spinning reel report.

The Ledger reports that boat ramps are a prime target for thieves.

The Louisville Courier-Journal goes fishin' with a fishing guide name Squirrel in West Virginia. You provide the dueling banjos and the pig-squealing noises.

The New York Times declares that Monroe Shakespeare, son of William Shakespeare (the fishing titan, not the bard) is responsible for Ayn Rand's success by paying for ads for her book The Fountainhead. Blame can now be proportionally doled out for the Ayn Rand scourge.

The Manchester Evening News opines on a golf club made by British tackle maker Robert Ramsbottom that sold for $7500 at Sotheby's.

The Nantucket Independent notes that (GASP) some fishing tackle is intended to catch fishermen and not fish. Next Week's Expose: $100,000 sports cars are a mask for men suffering erectile dysfunction during mid-life crisis.

The Decatur Daily News spotlights a father-son fishing duo who caught no fish. Note to Self: Remember to submit stories of my many no-catch fishing trips to local paper.

Ron Schara of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune profiles fisherman and tackle maker Gary Roach, who goes by the name Mr. Walleye. Why not Mr. Roach? Isn't a roach a fish too?

Classy Florida man wearing sexually suggestive fishing shirt entitled "Master Baiter" outraged he was forced to change shirts or be thrown off Southwest Airlines flight. Also wonders why he sleeps alone every night and works the night shift at Target. Click here to see the offensive shirt.

The Boston Museum of Science gets a head up on the competition by enshrining Ted Williams bobber into its collection. And no, bobber is not a euphemism for a cryogenically frozen body part.

Zapata, Texas' Lake Falcon is one of America's best kept bass fishing secrets. Al least it was until this article came out.

DUMB: A fisherman's tackle box is stolen. DUMBER: Its recovered when the three embecile burglars try to pawn the tackle box to the man they stole it from. DUMBEST: The real owner's fishing license was in the top of the tackle box.

Idiot fisherman bludgeons sea lion for stealing his bait from his fishing line. Authorities think recent string of baby seal clubbings will now be solved.

It's official: women do like angling. Seriously. They run stories every week about it. It must be true. I'm not kidding here.

Your weight affects your fishing, at least when it comes to fly rods. Also beer guts.

BREAKING NEWS: The pandemic Angling Bug has officially hit Great Britain. Pfizer promises a cure is in the works.

North Carolina State alumni make and sell Stingsilver lead jig saltwater jigs. Not surprisingly, shipping is a problem.

From the Double Entendre File: John Berry tells us Size Does Matter. Whatever you do, don't read in combination with (in light of the previous article) the rather frighteningly titled Two Inches of Fun!

And finally, lest we become jaded, we bring you the ANGLER OF THE WEEK: Johnnie Jourdan designs and makes fly fishing gear for children.

-- Dr. Todd

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